Current Events, Holy Wild, Muse in Brief

Hipster Paganism

I’m working hard to make Hipster Paganism a thing. Now that Pagan means Wiccan, and polytheist means Pagan, it’s only a matter of time before the People We’re Embarrassed By start calling themselves polytheists and recons. (It’s already starting.) I for one am embracing this endless cycle by bringing “Pagan” back… but in, like, an ironic way.

Since I owe my editors over at Aontacht Magazine my next Wild Earth feature column by the end of this week, naturally I’ve been procrastinating a lot today by hanging out on Google+ instead of writing. The above quote came about during a complain-a-thread (I just made that term up) complaining about Pagans complaining about Christians (and Pagans) complaining about Christmas being pagan and/or secular and/or consumerist. Because when I procrastinate, I like to go meta.

For your reading pleasure, I have devised a list to help you determine whether or not you are a Hipster Pagan.

Hipster Pagan

Things Hipster Pagans Say

  • “I celebrate an obscure harvest festival. You’ve probably never heard of it.”
  • “I worshipped Jormungandr before it was cool.”
  • “All of my ritual offerings are organic.”
  • “I’m wearing this huge shiney pentacle ironically.”
  • “I post all my instagram altar pics on Tumblr.”
  • “I used to like Damh the Bard’s early stuff, before he sold out.”
  • “I got this hooded robe at Goodwill for only $5.”
  • “Have you read Anaxagoras?”
  • “I love the bodhrán. We should start a drum circle.”
  • “Do these jeans make me look Christian?”
  • “Starhawk is just too mainstream.”
  • “I always bike to rituals on my fixie.”
  • “Isn’t Chaucer’s Mead the best?”
  • “I made my wolf-fur headdress from refurbished vintage coats.”
  • “I don’t go to Pantheacon anymore, it’s just gotten too big.”
  • “Let’s have a ‘Halloween’ Party for Samhain this year and watch ‘The Craft’ — that’d be so retro!”
  • “All of my candles are rechargeable LEDs; incense is so bad for the environment and beeswax is basically like animal cruelty.”
  • “My black Pagan friend told me it’s pronounced ‘Vodoun’.”
  • “I don’t like labeling people.”
  • “I’m not a Hipster Pagan.”

4 thoughts on “Hipster Paganism”

  1. Lol, I say some of those things. Does that make me hipster pagan, or cause it’s only like three things sometimes, does that make me hipster pagan lite?

    And is it terrible that one of my immediate reactions to some of those statements is to be argumentative with the imaginary person who said them? Probably doesn’t say anything good about me, what can I say the internal critic is always at work.


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